Being Me( rather discovering me)

Its always been difficult "being me".
One moment m so happy thinking life couldn't get any better and in the next m into these temporary bouts of depression. But that doesn't make me a suicide candidate. I'm one of those who believes there's no use in dying an intentional death...cuz frankly NOBODY CARES! They'll mourn u for a month max then everything will be back to normal...those who think they'll be able to bring great grief to their family are fools. Its better to live n fight for what you want. Who knows someday you might just win.
I do exhibit some symptoms of being a maniac depressant but again thats only probably 5% of me. Some of my acquaintances(m combining all my relations into this group) will tell you m a staunch optimist, i never stop smiling and providing inspiration,leadership and counselling when they are down or defeated like Rancho of 3 idiots.
Some of them will tell you m absolutely a no non-sense person who rarely smiles and might just manage to intimidate you.;)( tho i do fall into trouble when some masochistic old pervert thinks he might just convert himself to Aman of Kal Ho Na Ho and make me smile)....
Some of them will tell my mood is always off and i never stop complaining...like "Suellen" in Gone With The Wind. Some will go to lengths to explain why i will never be able to adjust anywhere...that m over-sensitive. Again some will tell m "insensitive"!!
Some again tell m too much of a feminist for my own good. Some will tell you i'm so brave and courageous that they feel safest when m around them.
Some will tell i talk so much that they dont get a chance n some will say i talk only when required.
Close ones will tell its too difficult to understand me...m such an odd mixture...m a nerd n the most cool girl at the same time! M the belle of town one day and m the most unattractive the other. ..
If you think after racking your brain that m a hell of an unstable person you might not be 50% from the truth. But again its only your aggregation of what my acquaintances think of me!
Gotcha i confused u!
P.S. dont forget to post which one of the categories u fall into of viewing me or you are welcome if you have an entirely new perception of me in store;).

Meaning Of existence

The beggar told me he lives to beg and begs to live..
The salesman told me he wakes up every morning wondering how many products he will sell that day...
The postman told me he is worried whether he will find the right address and the right name that day...
The driver told me he wants to replenish the car for which he needs to earn more that day...
The truant student told me he worries about his upcoming exams..
The studious one told me he's confident about the same..
The teacher told me he wanted all students to listen to him carefully...
The politician told me he wants the new policy to be popular...
The writer told me he wanted new ideas to come to him that day...
The waiter told me he wanted new customers to come to him the that day..
The Master told me he wanted a more servile servant that day..
The servant told me he wanted a more tolerable master that day..
The Mother told me she's worried about her child coming safely home that day..
The musician he wanted to make a breathtaking song that day...
The soldier told me he wanted the war soon to end..
The ammunition manufacturer told me wanted the war to continue..
The Judge told me he wanted more evidence that day..
The accused told me he wanted no evidence coming against him that day...
The mourners wanted the dead to come back..
Out of these wants that were wanted out of that day, a single day...I wonder how many were granted...
but talking to all these people on that rainy July morning I realised "that day" had a lot of potential..that battles could be won and lost..that hearts could be broken and mended..so I went about doing my best out of the given conditions so that "my want" from that day would be fulfilled...
thus I fell into the sphere of what is called "existence".
It took me long to figure it out...because come to think of it "in the long run we are all dead"...
It took me long to figure it out because I was critical of the short run...thinking it to be petty, trivial, negligible..
but it is not..in it lies all our trivial joys, hope, sadness, grief.Yes all these are existence..all these are life...

You Taught Me

It rained hard "that" day

And I thought how it would have been

If you were by my side

I ran indoors..

A safe place to hide.

A safe place to hide

From all the fears

That would otherwise engulf me

And break me

So I ran indoors...

A safe place to hide.

A safe place to hide

It wasnt long after "that" day

That I really met you

You taught me to love th rain but i paid no heed

So I ran indoors whenever it rained...

A safe place to hide.

Today it also rained

Cats and dogs

But i no longer run indoors

I stayed out in the rain

So that my tears go down in the rain, away from my life

A safe place to Hide.